Naruto's Guide to Prankpulling
by the-curse-of-angelica
Summary: Naruto decides to teach Sai about the art of having fun at the expense of others. Chapter seven. "Why are there boxes full of Kabuto plushies on my doorstep" a statement which effectively woke all of Sai's neighbors.
1. victim one: Hinata

It was one of those days again. No missions, nothing to do, complete boredom. Kakashi sensei was out on his own mission so his team had absolutely nothing to do. Sakura sat on a stone bench in one of Konoha's streets fanning herself while Sai sat next to her attempting to start a new drawing. Meanwhile Naruto paced back and forth in front of them trying (and failing) to think of something to do. Finally Sakura got up and announced:

"I'm going to go see if they need any help at the hospital. Try not to kill each other while I'm gone." Then she left. After a few more attempts to start a picture, Sai got frustrated and put it away. He leaned forward on the bench staring at nothing as Naruto continued to pace in front of him.

"What sort of activities do adolescents usually do for er… fun?" He asked finally.

Naruto turned toward him, "huh? Well I usually eat ramen or sometimes I play video games," He replied, tapping his chin thoughtfully, " But I don't have enough money for ramen and all my games are old." He sat down on the bench miserably. " I used to pull pranks a lot, but now I have to act more mature so Sakura-chan will like me." He groaned, " I miss the good old days when I was the king of pranks dattebayo."

Sai stared at him blankly, " What's a prank?"

Naruto straightened up in shock and looked at Sai to see if he was joking, but unlike the usual fake smiles he gave, Sai's face was blank. Naruto blinked a few times before saying, " You mean you've never pulled a prank before. Well then I have a lot to teach you, let's see a prank is when you do something really mean and dirty to someone that makes them all confused and humiliated." He grinned devilishly. "It's the funniest thing ever dattebayo."

Sai continued to stare at him, " So basically pranks are when you have fun at someone else's expense. I don't really see the point."

" Of course you don't," Naruto grumbled, his face scrunching up in disappointment. He leaned back on the bench and they sat there in silence until Naruto suddenly shot up.

" That's it! Sai, I know what we're going to do today"(Meanwhile in cartoon world, Phineas looked up from what he was doing and said, "Ferb, I feel as though someone just stole our catchphrase). " I'm going to show you the art of prank pulling," he said as he pulled Sai off the bench. " Yosh, follow me dattebayo!"

" I thought you just said you were trying to act more mature"

" I'm doing this for your benefit Sai. Come on."

After about half an hour of following Naruto around the leaf village Sai was getting rather annoyed. Je could have sworn they already passed this road. " Naruto, where exactly are we going?" he asked.

Naruto flashed a toothy grin at him, " To find the first victim." He almost walked around the corner of a fence but then stepped back hastily dragging Sai with him and putting a hand over Sai's mouth.

Naruto removed his hand and whispered, " There she is, our first victim." He giggled childishly.

Sai tried to look around the corner but Naruto held him back. " Who is it?" he whispered.

" Hinata," answered Naruto, while fighting to contain his laughter. " Now Sai, transform into me, quickly." Sai did as he was told all the while questioning the sanity of his teammate. "Now go around the corner and when she sees you say this," Naruto leaned over and whispered something into his ear. The Sai-Naruto's eyes grew a little wider.

"Hey, how come you can't do it. Why does it have to be me. Hinata will know I'm not you, she's not an idiot."

Naruto grinned at him, " No, you're going to because the best way to learn something is by practicing. If you want to learn how to have fun like a normal kid, then you're going to have a big role in all the pranks we pull. Now go!" Naruto shoved Sai-Naruto around the corner so hard that he almost ran into Hinata (but he didn't because he's a highly trained ninja).

"Um hello, Hinata-chan," said the Sai-Naruto trying to stay calm despite the internal battle he was having. _None of those books ever said that pulling pranks helps you make friends, _he thought. _But Naruto says I should and he has many friends_. So Sai ( keep in mind that he still looked like Naruto) decided to swallow his pride and go through with it.

"Na-na-naruto-kun, um h-hello," replied Hinata already blushing profusely, " What are y-you doing here."

"I came because there is something I have to say to you," answered Sai-Naruto. Hinata's blush was lessening and she looked a bit confused.

"Something seems different about you Naruto-kun," she said.

_Oh no, _thought Sai,_ she stopped stuttering, I have to act more like Naruto If I'm going to pull this off._ "Hinata, I'm fine but it looks like you have a fever, you're face is red datte-bayo." She was blushing again. _That did it,_ thought Sai, "But as I was saying I have something to tell you.

" HINATA," he announced loudly, " I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO BE MY WIFE. Um, datte-bayo."

Hinata stared, then blinked trying to understand what had just happened. Then her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell to the ground twitching violently. Sai looked at her nervously, _was this supposed to happen. _He transformed back into himself and looked back to see Naruto rolling on the ground laughing his head off.

"Man, that was hilarious, I think I might die!" Naruto yelled, tears streming down his cheeks as he pounded the ground with his fist.

" I think Hinata is dying, should we take her to the hospital?" Sai said worriedly.

Naruto got up and waved is hand in a nonchalant manner, "Nah, she'll be fine." Then he saw the look on Sai's face. "Okay, okay. You take her arms, I'll take her feet," he grumbled.

"What did you do to her Naruto. Usually she just faints but this looks like a full blown seizure. And by the way, why are you here Sai. Don't tell me you've been following the baka around all this time," Sakura was examining Hinata whom Sai and Naruto had carried (well dragged) all the way to the hospital.

" I don't know, I just ran into her while me and Sai were on the way to Ichiraku's," Naruto said innocently. Sakura was rather skeptical. She looked at the usually truthful Sai for a answer.

" Yes, I wanted Naruto to teach me about the building of friendships you see, that is why I was following him," said Sai.

"Ughh, Naruto is probably the last person who could help you, Sai," Sakura moaned pinching the bridge of her nose.

"But everyone's his friend."

" That's not true. Let's see…..Oh! Oh! I know. Neji's not his friend!" Sakura smiled in triumph, knowing she had won the argument.

" Actually, he's my only friend."

Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin and turned to see Neji standing behind her, expressionless as always. _How did he get here without me noticing, _she thought (well he's a ninja you fool).

Just then Tenten's head popped around the door to the hospital room. " What about me, Neji," she pouted.

Neji just replied with an arrogant, "humph," but Naruto noticed a faint blush on his cheeks. _Heh heh,_ thought Naruto,_ part B of the prank is starting to fall into place._

" Okay, everybody out, Hinata needs some rest. She should be fine by tomorrow afternoon," said Sakura as she shooed everybody out of the room. But Naruto and Sai stayed behind to speak with Sakura privately. Well actually Sai had no clue what was happening ( same as you dear reader, most likely) but Naruto dragged him along.

" Sakura, when Hinata wakes up tomorrow, tell her that she's been in a coma for two years and that Neji is dead, got it," Naruto said to her in between giggles, " And tell the rest of the hospital staff to do it to."

" And what makes you think I would do something so horrible to my friend," replied Sakura, ready to pound Naruto should the need arise.

" Come on Sakura, think about poor Sai here who's never experienced what it means to be a kid. This is going to help him to act more like a teenager and not like a… well it'll help him dattebayo."

Sakura looked back and forth between her friend and her awkward teammate as if trying to choose. Finally she sighed, " alright, I'll do it. but just this once, for Sai's sake." (Wow, she gave in easily)

" I will absolutely not do something as pointless as pretending I am dead, just to hurt my cousin,"

Naruto and Sai were standing outside of the Hyuga compound trying to convince Neji to help with the pranking, but you can imagine where that was going. But Naruto had a bit of information that would change Neji's mind. " Well then, I guess we'll just have to tell Tenten that you have a crush on her."

"Humph, what makes you think she'll believe you Naruto?" Neji questioned.

" Oh, I won't be the one to tell her. He will," Naruto replied, laying a hand on Sai's shoulder. Sai smiled fakely, even though he was still confused.

Neji looked at his options. Sai wasn't known for being a liar. Most likely Tenten would believe him. "What's your plan?"

Naruto grinned, " All you have to do is request a mission from Grandma Tsunade that will keep you away from the village for a week or so."

As they walked away from the Hyuga compound, Naruto looked at Sai and said, " Well, now all we have to do is let all the other villagers into the prank, then it will be complete. So do you have any suggestions for the next one dattebayo?"

Sai thought for a minute before saying, " For a while now I've been a bit annoyed by Guy Sensei and Rock Lee's clothing."

**Well then, that's all for chapter one. It doesn't flow as well as it did in my head, but chapter two should be better. Let me know what you think. **


	2. of spandex and mayonaisse

They had agreed to meet in one of Konoha's back streets at 11:30 pm precisely. Naruto was fairly sure that by that time the victims of their next prank would be fast asleep due to their extreme training exercises. So there they were at the appointed meeting time. Naruto had had some trouble waking up again once he had already fallen asleep, but Sai looked just like he always did, his emotionless face not betraying the fact that he was tired (or confused).

" What's the plan this time, Naruto-kun?" he asked.

"I'll take bushy brow's apartment, you take intense brow sensei's. We'll meet back at your place at precisely 12:15 with the clothes," Naruto said grinning demonically.

Sai had one question, "Why my place?"

"Because you're on the bottom level and you're apartment isn't surrounded by a bunch of neighbors who might see us." But in reality Naruto knew that his apartment would probably be the first place searched when Guy and Lee woke up to find their clothes missing. No one would suspect Sai (hopefully).

So here he was, on the doorstep of Guy sensei's apartment, wondering why he had to say something about their clothes to Naruto earlier that day. _Well I only have about half an hour left so I had better just do the deed and worry about consequences later._ So he opened the door and stepped inside.

He was greeted by the sight of probably the dirtiest, most disgusting, vile smelling apartment ever. It smelled like a mixture of mayonnaise, sweaty leg warmers, and leftover pizza. Sai gagged and pinched his nose wading his way through a trash filled foyer (he didn't take off his shoes for fear of getting some sort of infection), and made his way to Guy's bedroom. Along the way he picked up several spandex suits and dropped them into a large garbage bag that Naruto had given him.

He opened up a door hoping it was the right one, but no it was the bathroom. He turned on a light and then saw the source of the mayonnaise smell. It was Guy Sensei's special homemade conditioner. Guaranteed to give you the shiniest, bounciest,(most foul smelling) and softest hair you ever wished for.

Sai nearly puked. In the dark recesses of his mind he had always sort of wondered how the dynamic duo got their hair so…well you know what it looks like. But Sai had never imagined such foul things as what was in those bottles sitting on the ledge of Guy's bathtub. He immediately slammed the door shut and proceeded with his mission.

Finally he found the bedroom. There was Guy sensei sleeping peacefully in the middle of a sea of junk, cuddling a plushie version of himself. Sai made his way over to the closet and opened the door.

_Jackpot, _he thought before the whole contents of the closet fell out and smothered him. He quickly jumped out of the enormous pile of spandex and began picking them up and shoving them into his trashbag. He nearly had a heartattack once when he heard a voice speaking behind.

"Noo, the mayo's to chunky, it won't blend Lee." But when he turned around he realized it was just the lunatic having a weird dream about his aforementioned conditioner.

Other than that, the job was finished smoothly and Sai left the apartment carrying a trash bag full to the brim Santa Claus style. He went back to his apartment and saw Naruto raiding his fridge with an equally large sack of spandex sitting on the floor behind him.

"Naruto-kun, I don't have any ramen." Naruto jumped up out of the fridge and slammed the door.

"Oh Sai, I didn't see you standing there, heh heh. So did you get the suits." Sai turned on the light and was about to say yes when he noticed something was different about Naruto's hair. Sai walked slowly over to Naruto and sniffed the air.

" Gah, Naruto you're hair smells foul like rancid mayonnaise," he said whilst pinching his nose.

" Oh yeah I found this conditioner in Lee's bathroom and thought I might try it. I've always been a bit jealous of their hair. Now I can look as cool as them dattebayo," Naruto said grinning.

"Um, Naruto-kun, what are we going to do with all these jumpsuits. There must be at least a hundred of them," he said as he walked over to the kitchen to find a clothespin.

Naruto's face scrunched up as he thought for a while. Then a light bulb appeared over his head. "I got it dattebayo! We'll mail them to all the men in the village with a note that says its national spandex day and that if they don't wear it they'll be breaking a law." And then he facepalmed. " Oh, crap, I forgot the replacement clothing for Guy and Lee. Be right back."

And with that he left Sai's apartment taking his putrid smelling hair with him. While he waited, Sai decided to wash the spandex jumpsuits to get rid of the smell of Guy and Lee's apartments.

The next afternoon Hinata woke up to find that many things had changed since she 'fell into a coma two years ago'. First of all, her dear Neji nii-san had died in a tragic battle with one of the akatsuki a few months ago. Tenten had told her the sad tale while sniffling back tears.

"And yet he was still so calm and brave, even after both his arms got blown off. When he died he was still wearing that same expressionless face. 'Neji don't leave me here alone with the lunatics' I screamed but to no avail. His final words were and I quote, 'humph!' and then his eyes closed and he entered into the choir eternal," Tenten finished.

Another thing that had changed, Hinata noticed, was that green spandex had become some sort of fad. About a third of the men in the leaf village were wearing them. Guy Sensei and Lee, however, were not.

She passed by them as they were training when Tsunade let her out of the hospital. When she saw them she stopped and stared. And stared some more. They were wearing wait for it, PINK KIMONOS.

She almost fainted, but somehow made her way to the street going to Kiba's house. She would have to have him explain just exactly what was going on here.

Meanwhile, Neji was about a mile away from the leaf village, on his way to complete the mission that he had previously requested from the hokage when he realized that he had forgotten something rather important. He had forgotten his extra change of powder blue, silk (dry clean only) boxers. He debated over what he should do. If he went back then there was a chance that Hinata might see him. But if he didn't he would have to wear the same underwear for the reat of the mission. He made the obvious choice and turned back around.

He tried to take the back streets on the way back home, but made the mistake of passing the street that led the way to Kiba's house. The same one that Hinata was taking on her trip back from said dog lovers house where she had gained no useful information. Needless to say, she saw Neji.

They both stopped then and stared at eachother awkwardly for a few seconds before Hinata let out a delayed shriek, " G-ghost!" and then she fainted again.

Back at the hospital everybody gathered around the bed where poor, poor Hinata was lying for the second time that day.

" Okay everybody, here's the plan. When she wakes up and asks what happened tell her a falling tree branch hit her on the head. Tell her everything else must have just been a crazy dream," Naruto explained.

"Um, Naruto-kun, can we have our clothes back now. We know you stole them," said Lee.

"How'd you guess dattebayo!"

"Well only Guy sensei and myself know the recipe to the conditioner you are currently wearing."

"Fine, fine. Sai go get all the clothes back from the villagers," Naruto commanded.

For not the first time in the past two days, Sai wondered about the mental health of his teammate (and about his own mental health for that matter).

Well there's chapter two. You won't wanna miss chapter three. Let's just say the one who gets pranked loves bugs and looks like a stalker…

Btw, my little sister helped in the making of this story.


	3. Pesticide

Shino was another one of those leaf village ninja who frowned upon foolishness of any kind. He was as emotionless as Neji (well except for when his team really got on his nerves) but in an extremely weird stalkerish, drug dealer kind of way. Unfortunately for Naruto, he was also very truthful. So of course, when asked directly, he had told Hinata about the whole little "prank" Naruto had pulled on her. So now whenever Naruto ran into her somewhere, she would run away crying. All the other girls in the leaf village started giving him the cold shoulder as well.

" B-but Sakura-chan, you were involved to, why does everyone think it was just my fault?"Naruto whined to his pink-haired teammate.

" If I say I wasn't involved then I wasn't involved, you got it!" Sakura had him by the collar, her fist raised threateningly.

"Oh- okay S-Sakura-chan, just please d-don't hurt me," he pleaded, stuttering almost as badly as Hinata. She released him.

* * *

><p>"Sai, it's all that Shino's fault. I knew there was a reason why I never liked that guy, dattebayo! We have to get back at him and I have a plan," Naruto had started his little rant with a pouty look on his face, but by the end he was grinning broadly (per usual).<p>

Sai just stared at him blankly, wondering why people liked this obnoxious knucklehead. He had read that in order to get people to like you, you had to be nice and considerate. Naruto was the opposite, all of his closest friends had once been his enemies (he made a lot of those pretty quickly), but somehow everyone became his friends in the end. Maybe it only worked for Naruto and he should get out of this before he was involved in another "plan".

"Shino-kun hasn't done anything to me, so I'll just be leaving now. I have to go finish the painting I started on the other day."

But Naruto would have none of that. He grabbed Sai's sleeve and proceeded to drag him in the opposite direction. "No, we're going to the home gardening store and I hope you have your wallet, cuz I'm broke, dattebayo."

* * *

><p>"You must have a rather large infestation, young lady, to want to buy <em>all<em> of this. Are you sure you wouldn't rather call an exterminator?"

"Oh no, no, this will be just fine. Ahh how much will all this be exactly?" asked the young, blonde, whiskered woman. The woman's jaw dropped when she heard the amount. But then she composed herself.

"Oh, that's no problem, after all, my friend here will be paying." Said friend attempted to bolt for the door but was caught by the blonde woman. He pulled out his wallet, his hand shaking a little and dumped the entire contents out on the counter.

The cashier counted for what seemed like an eternity before depositing the money in the cash register and saying, "Would you like someone to carry that stuff for you?"

The blonde woman struggled under the pile of purchases, but replied, "Er, no, me and my friend can manage just fine."

The shook his head and decided to just forget the whole incident. _This village is sure full of wackjobs,_ he mused.

* * *

><p>Sai and Naruto, disguised as a woman, left the home gardening store struggling under their pile of purchases. Naruto dropped the bags and transformed back into himself. Sai looked dolefully at his now empty wallet, "Who knew insect repellant cost that much?"<p>

"Of course it's going to cost a lot. We had to buy enough cans to be guaranteed of a Shino proof village. I hope we bought enough," Naruto said with a worried look on his face.

"This is enough to kill a full grown elephant, Naruto. What exactly are you going to do with it?"

" Like I said, Shino proof village. We just have to cover every inch of Konoha's walls with this stuff before Shino gets back from his mission. We have until tomorrow morning I think."

Sai blinked. There was no way they could ever cover all of Konoha's walls with bug spray in one night. Ever. Oh but wait, they're ninjas, they can do anything.

" Kage bushin no jutsu!" Immediately the streets were filled with Naruto's shadow clones eagerly picking up cans of repellant and running off in all directions. Sai was left there alone with four cans of spray. Now was his cue to leave before he got any more involved than he already was. He started to walk away when (for the third time that day) he felt a hand grabbing his sleeve.

"Hey Sai, we'll start at the main gate. My shadow clones should take care of everywhere else. Come on." Oh, he'd forgotten about the real Naruto and once again got dragged somewhere he did not want to go.

* * *

><p>After about two hours of spraying, Sai wondered whether other normal kids also spent their afternoons continuously spraying a wall with chemicals. He seriously doubted it. The stuff smelled awful and was making him feel dizzy.<p>

"Naruto-kun are you sure this stuff is harmless. I don't think breathing this stuff in is good for our health."

"Of course its not harmless. If it was how could you expect it to kill bugs, dattebayo. But it's perfectly safe for humans, watch," Naruto said cheerily. Then he turned to one of his shadow clones and sprayed it in his mouth. The clone immediately vanished. Naruto turned back toward Sai with a disgusted look on his face. "I bake bat bath, bish thusff tathe awthul." (translation: I take that back, this stuff tastes awful.)

After four hours, Sai had a raging migraine, " Naruto, I'm going home, I feel, I feel-" and then he passed out. Naruto had to finish the job alone after taking Sai to the hospital.

* * *

><p>The next morning, just about every person in the leaf village woke up with a headache. There was a thick smog lingering over all of Konoha. Some smart people (like Shikamaru) decided to just stay in bed. There was no use trying to do anything in all those toxic fumes. Other less smart people formed a mob and stampeded into the local home gardening store, demanding to know who the heck had purchased all that hateful bug spray. They decided to strangle it out of the cashier.<p>

"I-it was a blonde girl, with whiskers, and blue eyes. She had a friend but I f-forget what he looked like. I-I swear I'm telling the truth. P-please don't kill me!"

"It was probably that pest Naruto, cross dressing again," growled Sakura. She had an especially bad headache from having to hear Tsunade complain about her own headache that morning.

"Let's get him!" yelled Ino, " He'll feel my wrath. These fumes are making my hair all frazzled. Do you know how hard it is to get hair this long and voluminous." They were not able to find him though, because he was hiding in a tree by the side of the main road into the leaf village, eagerly waiting for Shino to get back.

* * *

><p>Shino was three miles away from the leaf village when he felt the most painful sensation ever known to bugs. It was as though he was being fried from the inside out. He took one step forward, but avery cell in his body was telling him to run for his life. Then he saw a dust cloud rising in the distance. It grew steadily larger and larger getting closer to him be the second. Just before it ran him over, Shino realized what it was. It was the rest of his clan, running for their lives.<p>

**And that's it for chapter three, hoped you liked it. So who will be the next to fall prey to Naruto's little pranks. I wonder. I'll try to put some more of Sai in there. He seems to be fading out of the plot a little, oh well I still love him. Hope the characters weren't very OOCish. Please review **


	4. The Pride of a Hyuga

"HEY SAI, I HAVE ANOTHER GREAT IDEA DATTEBAYO!"

_Oh no, must hide, can't let that crazy person find me._ In the few seconds he had before Naruto got there, Sai searched desperately for a hiding spot. But, alas, he was standing in the middle of the street, in plain view. Naruto ran up to him. He had a horrible gleam in his eyes and was grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey, you know how the whole Aburame clan is still stuck outside the village," said Naruto.

"…Yes," replied Sai a little uncertainly. He didn't like where this was going.

"Well, we're going to raid Shino's house," Naruto giggled (not like a girl though, more of a mischievous giggle).

Now Sai was sure of it. His teammate belonged in the loony asylum. Or maybe a jail, if he went through with this disturbing idea. Sai didn't reply, he simply began to walk away. But unfortunately, Naruto had already grabbed onto his sleeve (again) and started dragging him down the street.

"Why exactly is raiding Shino's house a good idea?" he decided to ask.

"Because, three years ago, I went on a mission with Shino where someone drugged him so that he kept laughing uncontrollably. It was probably the scariest thing I've ever seen, well next to Orochimaru's face. Anyway at the end of the mission, the old hag who drugged him gave him a bottle of the laughing potion."

" What makes you think he still has it," asked Sai, who was still be dragged down the streets.

" If he ever used it, we would have known and he wouldn't have been careless enough to throw it away. I just hope his house is cleaner than mine or it'll take forever to find it."

* * *

><p>As it turned out, Shino's house was actually very neat and organized. Surprising for someone who didn't mind having cockroaches crawling through their hair (I mentally cringe). After less than an hour, Naruto found a vial of mysterious liquid in Shino's underwear drawer. Sai had not participated at all in the search, just to let you know. He was far too decent for that (even though he's not very decent when it comes to other things…).<p>

"Are you sure that's it? It could be poisonous."

"well we're gonna find out once I put some of this in Neji's breakfast, hehe," said Naruto.

"But if it's poisonous, it could kill him," said Sai. He thought he was far too young and good-looking to go to jail.

"No one's going to suspect us, trust me. After about a year or two the authorities will realize they can't find the murderer and the whole thing will blow over like it didn't happen. The only ones who will care are Hinata and possibly Tenten (and Neji's fan girls)."

"But…Neji will be dead."

Naruto thought about this for a moment, " If he's dead then we won't be able to throw parties at the Hyuga compound when his uncle's away…we better test this on something else first."

By this time they had already left Shino's house and were walking down the street. Coming from the opposite direction was Konohamaru's gang. Konohamaru was carrying another old lady's lost cat, that kept trying to claw at his face.

"Oy, Konohamaru, can we borrow that cat?" yelled Naruto. He ran up to Konohamaru and grabbed the cat before Konohamaru could answer. "Sai, hold its mouth open dattebayo."

Sai thought about running right then and there. If the liquid did happen to be poisonous, he didn't want some old lady beating him with her walking stick when she found out. But then again, if it was the laughing potion, Sai was rather curious as to how it would affect the calm and cool Hyuga protégé. So he pried open that poor animal's mouth and Naruto dripped a tiny amount of the liquid into it.

Immediately the cat started cackling. It was freakish to say the least. Naruto moved that up on his list of scary things, after Orochimaru's face and before laughing Shino. He dropped the cat and it started to roll around on the ground laughing (if you could even call it that) bizarrely. Before Konohamaru could even say a word, as he was still in shock from what had just happened, Naruto shouted, "It works!" and then dragged Sai off to Neji's house.

* * *

><p>They were standing outside the open window of the Hyuga kitchen waiting for Neji to depart from the area so they could slip the potion into his food. From what they could hear from their positions on either side of the window, Neji seemed to be making pancakes. After about ten minutes they heard a voice that made them jump.<p>

"Syrup, where did I put that syrup." They heard him opened the fridge and rummage around in it. "Oh yes I remember now." They heard him walk out of the kitchen.

"Now's our chance," whispered Naruto, "now where's that breakfast."

Sai peered through the window and then stared in shock at what he saw on the stove, "Um Naruto, do those pancakes look like what I think they look like?"

"Huh, what do you think they look like," replied Naruto as he reached over the window sill for the pan.

"They…look like Tenten's head… see the big circle's her face and the little ones are her panda buns."

"I don't know," said Naruto as he put the laughing serum onto the pancakes, "They could be pandas or maybe he has a mickey mouse fetish. Okay there it's done, now we just have to wait until he eats them."

They returned to their positions at either side of window. Then they heard humming. It was Tenten walking down the road to Neji's house to ask him to join her for an early training session. Naruto and Sai looked at each other. There was nowhere to hide, so they just stood still and hoped she didn't notice them. She walked by them, stopped humming and took five steps back back. She stared at them, blinked, and then kept walking.

They listened as she walked into the Hyuga kitchen and found it empty. While she waited for Neji, Tenten decided to take a look around the kitchen. _Wow, this place is huge,_ she thought, _they must have every kind of appliance money can buy and…wait what's that_. She walked over to the stove and picked up one of the pancakes gingerly.

"What in the heck are these!" she whispered. Then she heard footsteps coming toward the kitchen and immediately threw the pancake back into the pan and turned towards the hallway door.

Neji walked in holding a half filled extra large bottle of maple syrup. "What brings you here Tenten?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the training fields early today before the Hokage gives us another mission—and what are you doing with that bottle of syrup?"

He inspected the bottle of syrup in his hand, "I am going to put some on my pancakes. Is that not normal?"

"B-but you just walked out from where your bedroom is. What was it doing in there?"

"Naruto decided to have a get together at my house since Hiashi-sama is away. I tried to get rid of him and the buffoons that he invited into my house, but my attempts were in vain," Neji replied thinking about the unpleasant ordeal. They had told him to, "Lighten up," and that, "Teenagers are supposed to throw wild parties while their parents are away."

Tenten was confused, "But what does that have to do with syrup?"

Neji decided to change the subject, "I must eat breakfast now. I will meet you at the training fields in approximately half an hour."

Tenten left his house immensely confused, " Syrup, party, pancakes shaped like my head, it just doesn't make any sense…"

Sai looked at Naruto, " I am rather confused as well. What happened with the syrup." (he hadn't been invited to the party)

Naruto was cracking up (quietly of course). " There was this…and lee…and the chugging contest…and the hobo. Man that was a great time!" he said in between bursts of laughter.

Meanwhile, inside the house, Neji was sitting at the kitchen table preparing to eat his pancakes. He slowly lifted the fork to his mouth, bit down on the food, chewed, then swallowed. Something was very strange. He put the fork down carefully and stared at the pancakes. They seemed a bit moist, as though someone had dripped some water on them. Then something odd happened in his throat. He felt like he was going to choke. Instead he burst out laughing. He clamped a hand over his mouth. Where had _that_ come from. Then he happened again. After about a minute, the almighty Hyuga looked like a maniac. He laughed so hard that he fell out of his seat and onto the floor.

_I had rather die than look like this in public,_ he thought,_ but I have to meet Tenten at the training grounds. I can't let her down so I guess I'll just have to try and contain this horrible laughter_. And with that thought, he got up and made his way to the door, unaware of the two pranksters who also doubled over laughing by the window.

"Naruto-kun, I think I'm finally beginning to understand why you think pranking is fun," laughed Sai.

**Well, all I can say is good luck Neji. But I'm not done with him yet, so if you want to see what becomes of him as the day progresses don't miss chapter five: The Price of Youth. The title may not make sense as of yet, but it soon will. Please review if you didn't hate this.**


	5. The Price of Youth

Tsunade had been rather self conscious ever since she woke up that morning and saw that _monstrosity_ on her face. Every time someone looked at her she felt as though they were staring at _it. _Just what was it exactly. It was a zit. You may think it a bit strange that a 50-year old woman had a zit, but Tsunade used a jutsu to make herself look younger and getting blemishes from time to time was part of the side effects.

Tsunade's self consciousness made her irritable, and you did not want to get on Tsunade's bad side when she was irritable. It could be fatal…well maybe fatal is an exaggeration but it could sure as heck be harmful.

"Shizune, call in Guy's team I have a mission for them," said Tsunade irritably. She was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to cover up the zit with her hand as she flipped through some paperwork with the other.

"Y-yes, Tsunade-sama," replied Shizune. She ran out the door relieved to get away from the Hokage. Dealing with the fifth Hokage was like was like being around a ticking bomb. One false move and she would explode.

Unfortunately, however, Shizune wasn't relieved for long. Once she found Guy's team she realized that there was something horribly wrong. Usually it was Guy and Lee who were being incredibly annoying while Neji was the brave victim to their idiosyncroses, now it was the other way around. Now Guy and Lee were coming to the end of their patience and Tenten's had ended hours ago. To put it lightly, Tenten looked almost as irritatated as Tsunade.

Shizune didn't notice any of this, though. She was to occupied with staring at the strange sight before her. She wondered if the world might be coming to an end. Neji Hyuga, one of the calmest and most composed shinobi of one of the most elite clans in Konaha, was laughing his head off. He was laughing so hard that he looked like he was in pain. He probably was.

" What happened to him," she asked, wide-eyed.

"Tenten says she saw Naruto-kun did something to him," Lee shouted above the insane laughter.

Shizune started to flip out, "Oh no, oh dear, Tsunade-sama sent me to tell you to go see her for a mission. When is he going to stop. You can't go see her like this."

" We're just going to have to try. We can't skip a mission just because of… this and I don't know when it's going to stop," said Guy.

And so, they went to see Tsunade despite their " little problem".

* * *

><p>"I have a mission for—<p>

"AHAHAHAHAHA!"

" you. I need you to escort—

" Heheh,heheheeehehe."

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched, " a band of merchants with—

"HAHAHAHAH, hehehehhoheee"

Tsunade stood up, " DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY HYUGA? JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE PERFECT SKIN, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN LAUGH AT SOMEONE ELSE'S PROBLEMS! NOW LEAVE! I'M SICK OF HEARING YOU MAKE FUN OF ME!"

" It's not his fault Hokage-sama. It was Naruto and…and the pancakes! I swear," Tenten tried desperately to explain as Shizune ushered them out of the room. As they left Tsunade's office, they heard her karate chopping her desk in half and yelling at Shizune about getting some acne cream. Naruto and Sai were standing outside of the office attempting to look innocent. Tenten shot them a death glare as she walked past them dragging the still laughing Neji.

" Maybe we should see if Tsunade-sama's okay. She sounded furious," said Sai. He opened up the office door and peered inside. Immediately a book came flying out and hit him in the forehead.

" Ouch!" he exclaimed rubbing his forehead.

"Why do you think she was so angry," muttered Naruto.

"I think she thought Neji was laughing at her umm…"

"Her what?"

"She had this…um…right in the middle of her forehead."

"A what?"

"You know when you get a red bump on your face. I've never had them before so I forget what it's called," Sai trailed off.

Naruto's face slowly broke into a grin, "Granny Tsunade has a zit," he giggled. " Come on Sai, I know our next prank now."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Guy's team had decided they seriously needed to do something about their problem. When the Hyuga wasn't paying attention they formulated a plan.<p>

"Hey Neji, look it's Naruto, maybe he knows how to stop the laughing,"Tenten pointed toward the street. Neji (still laughing) jerked his head in that direction with a desperate look on his face. Tenten mouthed the word "now" to Lee who snuck up behind Neji and hit him in the back of the head with a tree branch. Neji stopped laughing and fell to the ground unconscious. The rest of his team sighed in relief.

"So who wants to go to my place and watch some tv since you know Neji got us fired from our mission," said Tenten smiling.

"I DO!" said both of the green clad shinobi. They were back to their usual hyped up selves now that the annoyance had been taken care of.

"But what are we going to do about Neji-kun," asked Lee gesturing at their fallen teammate.

"Hmm… Oh I know! we'll just duct tape his mouth shut and lock him in my weapons closet, so that if he wakes up he won't bother us."

* * *

><p>On the other side of town, much more interesting things were taking place. Naruto and Sai were walking out of a hardware store with their newly acquired bucket of paint, which Sai had purchased of course. Sai was getting rather tired of this. The Neji prank had been rather fun, he had to admit, but then again that one hadn't cost him anything. Over the past few days his well earned savings had been almost completely wiped out. He'd had to pay the shipping fee for all those green jumpsuits, as well as buying those pink kimonos and then there was all that bug spray. One can of paint wasn't bad normally, but after everything else Sai realized he was starting to look like a push over. First this and next thing you know Naruto would need Sai to bail him out of jail or help pay the rent for his apartment. Naruto could be mooching off him for the rest of their lives. Sai shuddered at the thought.<p>

"Hey Sai, we're here. Let's get started dattebayo." Naruto's voice shook him out of his thoughts. He hoped maybe someday Sasuke would come back. Sasuke would probably be Naruto's first choice for financial support. Why go to the replacement teammate for money when you can go to your best friend.

"Oy Sai, are you listening, I said we're here dattebayo. Now we can get started. Just where did you say that zit was again?"

Sai looked up at the mountainside which bore the ginormous faces of the five Hokages for the whole village to see. "On her forehead," he replied.

Naruto opened the can of bright red paint…

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Nej woke up. It was dark, very dark. He was standing up straight and there seemed to be a piece of tape over his mouth. The laughing seemed to have stopped. He stuck his hand out to the side and felt something sharp. <em>Tenten's weapons closet, most likely,<em> he mused,_ but why would they stick me in here of all places._

Outside the closet, Tenten, Guy, and Lee were watching Twilight (I am not a fan btw, that's just the first thing that popped into my head). Tenten heard a sound like duct tape being ripped off of someone's mouth and then a high pitched, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!"

Neji walked out of her closet with the duct tape in his hand and made his way to the living room. He was greeted by the sight of a sobbing Guy and Lee ( it was at a rather emotional part in the movie) and a bored looking Tenten.

"So the laughing's over then?" she asked.

"Humph," was his reply. Tenten was relieved. Then she snickered.

"You scream like a girl, Neji."

"What?" he looked confused. "That wasn't me. It came from the window.

They both ran over to the window and looked across to Ino's apartment. Sure enough, Ino's window was open and she was looking at herself in the mirror.

"I can't believe I gained five pounds!," she shrieked. Then she heard the sound of laughing and turned to see Tenten and Neji watching.

"Ugh, how rude!" she said before slamming her window shut.

**Well I hope you liked chapter five. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. If you ever get tired of waiting for the next chapter you can read the new story I'm starting. It's called Strange to Say the Least and is just a series of funny Naruto related oneshots. Thanks for reading and please review ~Angelica and sister**


	6. Ino's misfortunes

**Disclaimer: 1. Naruto does not belong to me. I am most certainly not clever enough to write a story as awesome as that. 2. I did not come up with the idea for this chapter, goodboy-chan did.**

Tsunade was furious when she saw the mountainside image of her. Someone had painted a bright red dot on the statue's forehead, in the exact same place that the zit was on her own forehead. She guessed immediately who did it.

"SHIZUNE!"

"Y-yes Tsunade-sama,"replied Shizune. She was shaking nervously as she entered the fifth Hokage's office.

"Go find Naruto and Sai. I want them in my office _now_!"

About ten minutes later Naruto and Sai came to meet their doom. Sai was expressionless as always but on the inside he was trying to think of an alibi. There weren't many to choose from. Everyone knew by now that he had started spending an unhealthy amount of time around the blonde prankster. They would immediately assume that he took part in every prank Naruto pulled. _Think, think where can I say I was. The Hokage knows I wasn't on a mission yesterday. I could say was ill or that I was at home painting something. But she knows I was the one who saw her face yesterday when she hit me with that book._

He quit his mental tirade as Naruto spoke up. He just had to hope the baka had enough brain cells to think up an excuse for both of them. But that was doubtful.

"Hey Grandma, did you see what we did to your face yesterday! Wasn't it awesome dattebayo!" Naruto yelled as the last of Sai's hopes to get out of this were painfully crushed.

Tsunade growled and felt like punching something. Through gritted teeth she said, "Yes, that is precisely why I called you here. You and your little accomplice will go and wash that absurd graffiti off my statue _immediately_! Is that clear! And once you are finished I am assigning you on a nice, _long_ mission far,_ far_ away. So report back here. Got it!"

_Well it could have been worse,_ Sai thought,_ at least I didn't get hit with a book again. _

"Oh and Sai, this is for helping that baka!" she yelled. Sai turned to see a carefully aimed book speed towards him. He was to slow to jump and got slammed right in the nose. _Why is it always me who gets hurt_, he thought as Naruto dragged out of the office.

They scrubbed and chipped at the paint for about an hour. When they were done, the statue now had a big white stop on its forehead in the place of a big red spot. The clean freak inside of Sai couldn't help feeling that it looked uneven. He forced himself not to stare at it as they walked back to the Hokage's tower.

When they got there, Naruto and Sai were greeted by the sight of Ino standing in front of Tsunade's new desk (she broke her other one in the last chapter). Ino turned towards them and shrieked.

"I HAVE TO GO ON A MISSION WITH THEM!"

"Yes," replied Tsunade calmly, " a nice _long _mission far, _far_ away."

"Ugh, but Naruto's so…well he's_ Naruto_! And Sai's just plain boring. Are you trying to punish me Tsunade-sama?"

"No she's trying to punish us by sending us on a mission with an annoying girl like you," Sai replied with a smile. Ino glared at him.

"Now I need you to go to the land of rice paddies and find some stolen treasure that was buried there about a decade ago."

"Um, where exactly is this treasure Tsunade-sama?" questioned Ino.

"Somewhere in the land of rice paddies. I thought I already told you that."

Everyone stared at her in disbelief. Ino and Naruto's mouths hung open and Sai blinked twice.

"Aww man, but that will take ages! How are we supposed to find one thing of treasure in that whole country dattebayo!"

"Well you don't have forever so you better get started. I said it was going to be long. Now leave, I have paperwork." She said as she pulled out a bottle of sake.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, it took them two weeks to find the treasure which ended up being a box of scrolls. They began their long trip back home tired and somewhat grouchy. Halfway back to the leaf village Ino decided she needed a break. They stopped at the local hot springs.<p>

"Okay guys, I'm gonna go take a bath now so do whatever you want." Ino waved a carefree hand at them and left the room they had rented for the night. Sai got up to go to but of course there was that hand again, tugging at his sleeve. And connected to it was that madly grinning face which he had learned to hate so much those past few weeks. Sai had been secretly hoping that Naruto had given up on pranking when they got sent on that mission. But alas, that was not to be.

"Oy, Sai," whispered Naruto mischievously, "Now that she's gone we can finally pull the prank I've been planning for the past two weeks." He held up a little packet full of itching powder (cliché much) and waved it in front of Sai's face. "Go put this in her make-up.

_Why does it have to be me again. I really don't think this is improving my social skills or whatever they call it. At least I didn't have to pay for the powder,_ Sai mused.

"I hope you don't mind that I took a few bucks out of your wallet to buy this with."

_I take back my previous thought…hey wait isn't that considered stealing? If I turn him in for stealing from me then I won't have to participate in any more of this pranking as he likes to call it. They should really illegalize pranking, it seems rather harmful… _Sai ended his thoughts of revenge and petitioning for new laws, because now he had a job to do. He took the packet from Naruto and made his way over to where Ino's bag was.

"Well I'm off to the hot springs dattebayo. Good luck." And with that Naruto left.

* * *

><p>Sai refused to go rummaging through a girl's purse, so he painted a mouse and sent it into her bag. It came back with a small pouch full of make-up. He opened each item and spread a thin layer of white itching powder over it. once during the process, his hand slipped and a good amount got onto his bare stomach. He didn't notice, however, until afterwards when it started to itch. He scratched himself hoping it would go away but it just became worse.<p>

The infernal itching refused to stop and soon a rash had developed all over his pale skin where his shirt stopped. Sai decided that the hotsprings would make it feel better so he went down to take a bath.

"I'm afraid we don't allow people with strange skin infections to enter the baths," said an employee, frowning impatiently. Sai left dejectedly and walked back up to the room he shared with his teammates, all the while itching the red spot on his stomach. In his brain he cursed Naruto to the depths of hell. He decided to put a less revealing shirt on.

The next morning Ino came out of the bathroom screaming and itching her face. Her eyes landed on Naruto who was giggling. She fumed and plotted her revenge (she would have yelled but her face was too swollen for that).

* * *

><p>"so who's paying the bill for the hot springs, cuz I'm broke dattebayo," said Naruto. Ino crossed her arms and turned her swelling face away from her two teammates. Then she started itching her face again (she should have just taken the make-up off, baka) Sai left off scratching his stomach (he was actually allergic to the itching powder) and took out his wallet.<p>

**Im super sorry for taking two whole weeks to update. I have no excuse except that I've been extremely lazy and uncreative recently. Hopefully I won't take as long next time. I'm giving up reading other people's fanfics for lent so I should have more time for writing now.**


	7. Kabuto Plushies

All was well. Orochimaru-sama was off on the training grounds teaching Sasuke-kun a new jutsu that was coming along quite nicely. Kabuto had just finished checking all the medical supplies and genetic experiments. Everything was in its place, just as it should be. _Everything is perfect,_ mused Kabuto. Their enemies seemed to have forgotten all about them as they hadn't had to move their hide-out in a while. Those bratty Konoha nins, Sasuke-kun's "friends", had made no move to come after them again either. In just a few weeks Orochimaru-sama would be safe and sound in his new body. _Maybe it's just a little too perfect,_ he thought,_ Then again, I might as well enjoy the peace while it lasts._

* * *

><p>Little did he know, but Orochimaru and his subordinates would soon be the next victims to fall prey to the Konoha's new most wanted pranksters.<p>

"OI, SAI!"

Sai cursed his fate and then accepted it. He had completely given up trying to evade the orange-clad lunatic. If there was one thing everyone knew about Naruto, it was that he never gave up. "Yes," he sighed.

"Do you have a credit card dattebayo!"

Sai really should have seen what was coming next, but if there was one thing everybody knew about Sai it was that he never learned, especially when it came to those idiotic nicknames. "Yes, I do. Danzo-sama gave this to me after you spent all my cash so I could get some more art supplies," he said holding it up so Naruto could see, "Wait, why—

But, alas, the fool had already run off, credit card in tow, to spend it on who knows what. Sai just hoped for once it was something practical instead of itching powder and bug spray. Today would forever be remembered as the one day in Konoha history that Sai made no attempt to cover his feelings with his cheesy trademark smile. In fact he scowled quite darkly, made no attempts to be sociable, and went around muttering strange things like, "I hope all the ramen in the world disappears." People steered away from him on streets and avoided eye contact.

The next day Naruto returned the maxed out credit card saying that he had put it to good use dattebayo.

"What did you buy?" Sai asked dolefully, staring at the now useless piece of plastic in his hand.

"Oh just some stuff online for our next prank. I'll show you when it comes in dattebayo!" Naruto winked and ran off once more. Sai sighed (no pun intended), which he seemed to be doing quite a lot lately, and went home. Everything went back to normal for the next two days and then came that morning when Sai woke up to…

* * *

><p>" Why are there boxes full of Kabuto plushies on my doorstep!" a statement which effectively woke the neighbors up.<p>

"Oh Sai, that's just the stuff I bought for our next prank. And it's not just plushies, its assorted Kabuto merchandise dattebayo! There're even Kabuto shaped candles for…er…"

"Voodoo?"

"Yeah, that's the word! This is going to be awesome dattebayo! So here's the plan…"

* * *

><p>And that is the story of how Sai found himself lurking around in the basement of Orochimaru's hideout pushing a wheelbarrow full of Kabuto merchandise. Naruto walked a little ways ahead of him holding a long piece of rope and ducking around corners like the ninja that he was whenever he thought he heard a noise.<p>

Now they were hiding out in a dark room. Naruto looked around the doorway and signaled back to Sai that it was safe. Sai pushed the wheelbarrow steadily onward when…

"I would advise you get out of my room," came a rather bored and slightly irritated voice from right behind them, " You've been crouching in my doorway for the past ten minutes so I'm guessing you have no business being here…Naruto?!"

For at that moment Naruto had indeed spun around with tears streaming down his face. "Sasuke-teme! Oh, how I've missed you dattebayo!" he blubbered.

The bewildered Sasuke instinctively took a step backwards before regaining his composure, but at that moment Naruto lunged at him capturing him in a big bear hug. "Go Sai! Fulfill your destiny dattebayo! I'll be fine and don't forget to give Kabuto the letter!"

Sasuke looked more confused than ever, "Letter, what letter? Get off of me Naruto! Chidori!"

"Haha, Sasuke I've got you now dattebayo! You didn't even realize it but this is chakra suppressing rope! Now go Sai!"

Sai contemplated just wheelbarrowing his way back to Konoha and getting a refund but it seemed like a waste to have come this far and not go through with the plan.

"Wait, I don't know where the room is."

Sasuke was now lying on the floor tied up in chakra suppressing rope, "Room? What are you planning dobe?" He was genuinely curious.

And so they told Sasuke the plan and after a lot of arguing and threats he finally said, "Okay I'll tell you. Besides, that creep's starting to get on my nerves. He keeps murmuring stuff about how that accursed traitor, Itachi, dumped him, and about how ssssoon, ssoon, he will have my body. It's seriously freaking me out."

And so Sai changed himself into Sasuke while Naruto decided to keep an eye on the real one and talk about the good old days with him.

Sai left the room still carting the boxes and trying to act like there was nothing suspicious going on. He was just the normal Sasuke with a wheelbarrow full of Kabuto merchandise heading toward Orochimaru's room. Nothing weird about that at all.

Finally the mission was complete and he was heading back down the hallway to Sasuke's room when Kabuto appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh hello Sasuke-kun. I thought you were still training with Orochimaru-sama. What are you doing out here?"

"Um, well I was just going back to my room to take a shower," he smiled brightly, creepily. Kabuto stepped back.

"Are you okay Sasuke-kun, there seems to be something a little off about you."

Sai gulped, _think Sai, think. What would the traitor say? What would he say! _"I am wearing different underwear today. Would you like to see?"

Kabuto looked like he was choking, "Uh, no thank you. I think I'll just be off."

"Oh wait, the snake man wanted me to give this to you," Sai held out the letter.

Kabuto took it and hurried off. Sai sighed, this time in relief, and practically ran back to Sasuke's room. Meanwhile Sasuke and Naruto were having an argument over which one of them deserved Sakura more when Sai ran into the room breathless. "Naruto, we have to leave now! Kabuto, he knows!"

"Did you finish the mission dattebayo."

"Yes."

"Good then we can leave. See you around teme."

"Wait, you're leaving. Take me with you! I hate this place. Please I'm begging you!" yelled Sasuke in a manner that was in no way Sasukesque.

"But what about you're goal to kill Itachi?"

"…Oh right. Bye then."

And so they made their way back to Konoha and went on with life as usual.

* * *

><p>Kabuto looked down at the letter before opening it carefully. He wasn't an idiot and anyone with brains could tell that whoever had given it to him was not Sasuke. In fact whoever it was seemed kind of like Orochimaru-sama with that creepy smile and statement about underwear. He was expecting some kind of poisonous smoke to come out of the envelope but nothing happened. The letter read:<p>

_Dear Kabuto,_

_I was hoping you and I could have dinner together and a little heart to heart chat. Meet me at my room at a quarter to six._

_Love Orochimaru_

A heart to heart chat about what? And that love at the end was creepy. The letter was typed, though so Kabuto couldn't really tell who it was from. It was almost a quarter to six and Kabuto didn't want to keep Orochimaru-sama waiting on the off chance that the letter really was from him.

Kabuto knocked on Orochimaru's bedroom door. He hadn't been inside for a while since Orochimaru hadn't been very sick lately. Then he slowly opened the door and walked in. The sight that greeted him made his draw drop. The letter fell, forgotten to the floor.

Orochimaru had a bedspread with a full length picture of him on it and a matching pillow. Various Kabuto plushies were littered all over the floor in all different sizes and styles. Some were of him holding scalpels or fixing his glasses. Others were winking and one was even wearing a tutu. There was a realistic poster of him from the waist up taking a shower and another one with a chibi version of him on it that said I love Kabu-chan. On the dresser was a shrine full of prints of Kabuto fanart and kabuto voodoo dolls and lit Kabuto shaped candles. It looked like a crazed Justin Bieber fangirls bedroom but so much worse.

Kabuto took in all this horror and then promptly fainted. He failed to notice that one of the Kabuto plushies had a mini video-recorder, which was sending live feed back to Konoha, installed in its forehead.

About twenty minutes later Orochimaru walked in, surveyed the damage, took note of the unconscious Kabuto on the floor, picked up a plushie, and said, "They messed up my order. I could of sworn I typed in Sasuke when I ordered all this stuff."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: I realize that my story doesn't really follow the actual timeline of the show so it's sort of an AU. I guess it's kind of like the universe of Rock Lee and his Ninja Pals, where Sasuke's still with Kabuto and Orochimaru but life is just normal back in Konoha and Sai is part of their team. Also I'm not into Kabuto Orochimaru (in fact it kind of sickens me) nor do I really see Orochimaru as a pedophile. I just thought it would make for good comedy. If you enjoyed this then review, if you hated this then review, if you just thought, "Meh," then state that in a review. Adios!**


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